june 10, 2026, 9:30ish AM

i have decided to start blogging here geezer style bc i really like old-school websites that were just some peep's journal for their friends to see. i kind of only just woke up, so i haven't done much today, or thought about much either. i think it'll be nice to have a place like this to just spew some utter nonsense on a semi regular basis, shouting into a void can be fun. might update this later when more day has passed,, pretentious musings or vents or rants or whatever i ate for lunch or something x3

june 10, 2026, 5:31 PM

it's too fucking hot already and summer's barely started dude. like ~87° F outside ughhhhghghg. anyways i just had a hot pocket for lunch and my stomach immediately hated me for it, i wish i could eat better but eating better is EXPENSIVE and i dont have any MONEY and bad food tastes GOOD!! i think all of these entries are gonna be this rambly, probably, but i think it's just better rambling *at* someone.

i think doing this neocities is making me realize how much fun i have using more "outdated" forms of creative tech, like mapping in the source engine or making music out of old snes soundfonts or chiptune. it's kinda interesting how quirks caused by technical limitations are turned into features of aesthetics, like black & white photography, synthwave music, analog horror, etc etc. i find something made with old school stuff and DEVOUR it its DELICIOUS. i love the inherent crust of the source engine and snes soundonts. i wish i had an old digital camera or a polaroid, but they cost money and as previously mentioned money is not something i have rn!!

june 11, 2026, 3:21 pm

god has yet again cursed me with gastrointestinal distress. maybe it's cus depression got me eating whatever i can put into my body, but i wish it would stop already. i can't keep taking the medicine to make it feel better bc if i keep taking it that could cause worse issues. its so exhausting feeling this damn awful all the time man i just wanna feel fucking NORMAL. god i hope i can get a job soon. i feel like my life is just a series of shitty feedback loops sometimes. im depressed -> because im depressed i dont take care of myself or eat well -> feel really physically awful all the time -> im depressed. rinse and repeat, and i can't fight myself into changing things no matter how hard i try. shit sucks everywhere right now and beating myself up isn't gonna help me be any less of a general burden on the people around me, so i think it'd be a good idea to keep up hope and try to do better! i don't really know where to start though.

i feel like a huge dork typing this stuff out

june 12, 2026, 3:38 pm

sorry for the lack of another riveting update yesterday i was cramming comms so i could clear out my slots for another 4. but i got those done and satisfied my clients :]

i used to hate summer but i think since moving up here ive kinda come back around on it. at least from an aesthetics point of view. summer up here is much nicer than texas because it stays fairly green and "overgrown", for lack of a better word. summer nights here are pretty nice too, theres all sorts of bugs and frogs in the soundscape and even fireflies from time to time. though, i think my heat tolerance has dropped ~30° F because now 70 is pretty warm and >80 is getting to be much too hot. i think if i had to rank the seasons....

  1. fall (call me basic idc!!)
  2. winter
  3. summer
  4. spring (pick a damn lane)

june 16, 2026, 11:21 pm

i keep forgetting to update this damn thing because ive been kinda busy, and i havent rlly had anything interesting on my mind. on sunday i went to my nephews bday party at a pool, today i did some yard work and saw some funky little bugs doing their thing. it's really late and im tired. sorry this update is lackluster.

june 22, 2026, 2:05 pm

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